Derby Fever

So I've been wanting to attend a Roller Derby bout for a few years now but never got around to it and I think it used to be held OTP which is out of the question no matter how much I want to go see girls kick each other's asses while speed skating around in a circle.

My yearning returned full force when the Atlanta Rollergirls were in the parade this weekend at the IP Fest. So after checking out their website I've found out that we have 4 teams here in Atlanta; The Denim Demons, Apocalypstix, Sake Tuyas and the Toxic Shocks, who I desperately hope kick butt b/c I've decided by name alone they're "my team". Those 4 teams play each other every 2nd Saturday of the month and sometimes there are out-of-town teams as well.

Due to K's b-day party we can't go in May and even though MC said April was a bit premature for commitments I want to go ahead and plan to go in June.

You need to buy advance tickets so those of you who already know you're in let me know because I'm getting mine SOON.

Details are as follows:

June 14th (5pm)

$13 bucks for 2 bouts

ITP- its now on Ponce at the Shrine Center and haven't you always wondered what was up in the Shrine Center anyway?

Free Parking

Event is BYOB and apparently people tailgate beforehand...again I ask myself why I haven't been before...

Who's in?

I know what I want for Christmas

I had no idea these things existed but if they start making a combo teen/squirrel-be-gone I'm going to need one immediately.

Toot, Toot

It is a long southern tradition for woman to make delicious fare and then to make apologies for its appearance or taste. Normally I follow this tradition to a tee, as I, too, feel the need for total perfection in my kitchen and its output. When I signed up to make Angie and Jon's wedding and groom's cakes I expected to be doing a lot of apologizing...and I expected to have legitimate reasons for doing so.

For those of you like me who have never constructed a wedding cake it not only requires more baking than you can imagine (9 hours!!) but it is actually quite the architectural feat setting it up. So I'm bucking the tradition and tooting my own horn this time because I have to say I'm pretty proud of how both cakes turned out.

Jon's Groom's Cake "Dig"...complete with mini dinosaur bones...toot, toot.

No Marriage is complete without a trip to the Clermont

Angie's bachelorette was this Saturday. After bbq and then darts we headed to the most sacred of Atlanta landmarks...The Clermont Lounge.

Maybe it is the PBR in a can, the feeling that if you touch anything you will walk out with crabs, a bathroom that will test your ability to hold your bladder beyond your wildest dreams or the strippers who are either over 65, weigh over 250lbs or have track marks up and down their arms...there is just something magical about the Clermont that cements your relationship and makes you all the more grateful for your pending marriage.

Bellsouth, Cingular, AT&T...idiots no matter what they call themselves

So I have spent 4, count them 4, hours on the internet and phone today attempting to get my crackberry to receive emails again. 4 hours wasted talking to some moron named "Craig" whose final answer to me was that their server was down and he had no ETA on when it would be back up and maybe, just maybe, that was why I wasn't getting my emails.

I used to handle our business account with AT&T and have to say this is not the first time they have sucked hours out of my life and unfortunately I am confident it will not be the last.

Usually I stand against violence...

I am a bit of a freak about tomatoes. Plucking them from my grandmother's garden, as a child I would literally eat them like an apple. You could not leave my grandmother's house without taking a grocery sack full so when not there I had to look no further than my own kitchen window sill to find a delicious homegrown tomato.

For people who didn't have this luxury I'm sure they would be fine with tomatoes purchased at a grocery store. They may even rave about those bought at the Farmer's Market. But, rest assured nothing compares to tomatoes grown at home, even those that say "vine ripened". I've bought them all and I can say with confidence that they're all crap.

I hate these tomatoes so much that I choose not to eat them at all than be subjected to their inferiority. Sure I'll eat tomatoes at restaurants. There is even a seafood place in Florida that has the closest I've ever tasted to homegrown...but again, just not quite there.

Last year I begged the BFF to grow tomatoes. After much persuading he did grow some and had quite the harvest, so I hear. Although I did pluck a few of his sweet cherry tomatoes the neighbors made off with the real loot before I even had one!

This year I'm taking it into my own hands and although I had to plant it in a pot to place on my back porch, the only place I get sun, I have planted a tomato plant. A German Beauty Heirloom tomato to be exact.

You may have noticed the snake curled around my little German beauty...it is actually a cobra.

I put this guy there under the advise of the BFF to ward off the squirrels. Our oak tree is currently home to over 10 squirrel nests and who knows how many of the wretched little creatures who's seemingly only purpose in life is to dig up my plants.

For a few weeks my little cobra soldier has done the job. It is the first time I have ever planted anything that I didn't come to find dug up by those rats in cute costumes.

Last week I came out to find a pansy in a neighboring pot completely dug out. Now they had dug in the pansies back when I planted them months ago. But after finding that I did not actually use pecans as fertilizer they had moved on. Why now? Could they truly be so cunning to actually test the cobra, which I move daily to keep up the life-like effect?!?

The answer is YES. The next day they had dug in the tomato pot. My once terrifying cobra was found tossed about and lying belly up...defeated.

I found a couple of days ago that I now have flowers on my tomato plant. I'm no horticulturist but I believe those small blooms will eventually become the delicious tomatoes I so desire. And I'll be damned if the squirrel army is going to deny me of the summer joy I miss so much.

I need a plan and fast. Currently I'm toying with electric wire, rat poison, an air pistol or a fake owl. All of which the wife is adamantly against. For now I just try to run them down in my car.

I may have lost this one battle but the war will rage on and to the victor will go the spoils...the sweet, sweet, sun-ripened spoils.

Day One...

First day of unemployment…from the looks of the list I created for myself I have to say I’m thinking office work, although mentally taxing, may be a little less physically demanding.

BTW-Going to the grocery store on Monday mornings is a whole different experience than going on the weekend with the rest of the world. I didn't curse under my breath at one person! Incredible.