on the foot front

Good news today, got my MRI results and everything came back okay. Meaning my foot is broken but the doc said it is healing...just taking forever.

Hopefully I'll be out of this stupid boot in 2 weeks and into my sneakers. I pray I'll be back in my beloved heels by September for the neighbor's wedding. I already have to attend a wedding this weekend in the boot which really kills me. However, I did a little test today and found I can wear a short heel on my left foot. I actually hobble less than when wearing flats.

I'm also optimistic (shocking I know) that some of this osteoporosis will have reversed by the time I go back to the doctor. I've been quite the errand runner since last Friday so I'm hoping my body is coming to it's senses and is sending some calcium down there.

I'm far more than ready to be healthy again.

In other related "foot news", I found out that I actually bought this bone stimulator. Which I think is insane but apparently the FDA will not allow this equipment to be prescribed to anyone else.

God forbid, if anybody breaks a bone or knows someone who does let me know. It truly speeds up healing by like 30%, but your insurance won't sign off on it until your fracture is "non-union" and by then you're half crazy, like me. Even then they will only cover a portion of the cost. I only had to pay 15% and it was close to $400!

I asked if I could donate it back so it could be used for someone without insurance or someone who couldn't afford it but they said if I sent it back they would just destroy it. How ridiculous! But, I suppose this is typical of our messed up medical system.

bear hug

I am completely addicted to the Travel Channel right now. As we have no idea what countries we'll be visiting or when, I watch pretty much every show that deals with foreign countries. I adore Anthony Bourdain, enjoy Andrew Zimmer and tolerate Samantha Brown. She's kinda the Rachel Ray of the Travel Channel. A little too freaking perky for my taste. However, she gives a lot of great hotel/travel tips and all from a woman's perspective. Not to mention she has like 129 different travel shows so it is hard to avoid her.

With the Olympics on the horizon TC is doing a week of China shows. So of course Samantha Brown has a new show "Passport to China". I watched her Beijing episode on Monday night. It was pretty interesting. But what really got me was the commercial for an upcoming show that shows her hugging a panda. Let me correct myself, a baby panda.

Okay so lets lay out the facts:

1. Panda bears are cute.
2. Baby panda bears are disgustingly cute.

There are big operations in China and it is highly likely that we'll go there at least once, so after seeing Samantha Brown cuddle this panda like a stuffed toy I was thrilled.

Me: "Oh my God Baby! I just saw Samantha Brown hug a panda!!! I am so going to do that when we go to China!!

Wife: "Uh, no you're not. Remember due to the shortage we can't get the rabies vaccines right now so you're not hugging a panda. It will bite you."

Me: "Are you kidding me?"

Wife: "No"

Me: "Honey I think I'd have bigger things to worry about if a bear bites me, like my missing limb. Not to mention you don't even know if they carry rabies."

Wife: "Well okay, you can research it, but remember you can't pet any monkeys."

Me: "Awesome!!"

So here it is in black and white. If we go to China no monkey petting allowed, but I'm cleared for hugging a baby panda! Which I am seriously more excited about than seeing the Great Wall. Seriously...

Getting older rocks!

I make it no secret that I hate getting older. I begged the Wife years ago to let me repeat my 27th year. "Nobody will notice, once I get to 29 I'm screwed."

The Wife's standing comment to my moans of aging is "It's better than the alternative". It isn't that I don't love my life. Sometimes I find myself in disbelief of how great my life really is...but the grey hairs and wrinkles I could live without.

I could also live, quite nicely actually, without this seemingly permanent broken foot. I've been using my bone stimulator for 2 1/2 weeks now and no change in pain or swelling.

I went to a new doctor yesterday and on top of being told the obvious "it's still broken" I was also told that I now have osteoporosis in my foot. This apparently happened because my body told itself "hey we're not using those bones so don't waste sending calcium down there". This is the same body that told itself "hey, we've been working on that break for a while now, lets just let it go".

I am starting to believe my body is an idiot.

So, I'm off to have an MRI Monday morning to see if there is more than one fracture or if it is something else all together. The doctor didn't tell me what that something else could be. I think he felt he had upset me enough with his being "very concerned" about the osteoporosis. I'm sure he knew if he said anything more the tears that were welling up in my eyes would have most certainly begun to fall.

He's my 3rd doctor and I really feel pretty good about him. He seems experienced, aggressive but rational and to be honest the first one who really seems to give a damn about helping me.

3 good things that came out of the visit:

1. 1st priority now is taking care of this osteoporosis and to do so I have to start bearing weight on this foot. Which means I am supposed to start walking around like a normal human again. Well, a normal human with an air cast on.

2. The doc said he is fairly confident that this will all be resolved and I should be 100% by January 17th.

3. Doc hopes (as long as MRI doesn't show anything funky) to get me out of this air cast in 3 weeks and into a tennis shoe.

Granted, never did I think I'd be happy to be sporting a tennis shoe...but I'm older now and with all the crap that come with that comes some good things, like perspective.

She's no Pat Sajak, but...

Anyone who knows my wife is aware of the fact that she can be a bit competitive. Again, by "bit" I mean "extremely". I think this stems from her being involved in sports her entire childhood. Now older and without the desire to commit her precious weekend days to a rec league she gets her kicks out of boardgames, trivia, poker and TV game shows. She also enjoys betting me on a myriad of subjects. Although after 6 1/2 years of never winning a bet I have finally learned that if my wife bets you it is because she knows with 100% certainty that she is correct. I should have known that she would never actually put her money at risk.

One of her favorite games shows is Wheel of Fortune. I actually enjoy watching it with her because it is the only thing that I can usually beat her at, although I could do without the pregame smack talking. Without the pressure of spinning the wheel and hitting bankrupt, at home we're really just playing hangman.

I would say just behind The Price is Right it was my Grandmother's favorite and we watched it every night without fail. I will never forget the evening that my Grandmother actually solved a puzzle with no letters on the board. I thought she was a God.

Wheel of Fortune has been on prime time television since I was 5 years old. Whether it was arguing about what the person should buy with their winnings(remember how they used to do that?) or talking about whatever hideous frock Vanna was wearing that night, my memories of watching this show are endless.

It is Americana at it's finest.

As the Wife and I were watching last night, Pat reminded us that The Wheel (as all true fans call it) is on in 170 countries. "That's Great!" I say to the Wife..."We can always find The Wheel, no matter where we are!"

Granted, it will very rarely be in English and even when it is we probably won't have a clue as to the puzzles. Case in point, this clip from the Philippines which is a country we will definitely be visiting.



But hey, that spinning wheel and green and white puzzle board will still be a much appreciated reminder of the home and family we've left behind.

My guess is the Wife will still challenge me to try to beat her anyway.

Mary, Mary quite contrary...

toothpastefordinner.com

So Farmer Pablo now has a tomato on his German Beauty Heirloom...what do I have? Sad droopy blooms and a plant that I had to put masking tape on in an attempt to save my biggest limb.

I'm afraid my experiment in vegetable gardening has failed, miserably. I'm fairly bummed about it not to mention all the guilt I feel about all the saved shower water I gave it during the early summer months that could have gone to our dried out ferns.

Even now with all the rain brought on by the "Cavalier Jeep Curse" it just isn't enough to bring me the delicious homegrown tomatoes I so crave.

My grandmother would be so ashamed...

Oh well, I guess there's always 2011.

Down for the Count

The wife and I were off to Emory TravelWell Center today to get the first round of immunizations for our journey. After a short wait a very nice nurse gave us the lowdown on typhoid, yellow fever, malaria and all the rest of the fun diseases you pick up from mosquitoes or from just stepping foot in India.

Today we were to get our first round of Hepatitis A & B, Tetanus and a Polio booster. Knowing that my wife is a bit (and by "a bit" I mean "extremely") scared of needles we decided she would go first so she wouldn't freak out by watching me get mine.

As I watched her get the 3 shots (the Heps come in a combo now, thank goodness) go into her arms I thought she was doing pretty well. Her color was good and she wasn't sweating. We had told the nurse that she wasn't a fan of shots so she asked her how she was feeling.

Nurse: "You okay?"
Wife: "Um, yeah, just a little nauseous"
Nurse: "You sure you're feeling okay?"
*Nurse begins to fan the wife with paperwork*
Wife: "Ummm, I think I may feel a little lightheaded"

10 seconds later her eyes are in the back of her head, her body goes completely limp and she slumps down off the chair. The nurse was then screaming for me to go into the hall to scream for other nurses. 2 seconds later 2 additional nurses come in, scoop her off the floor and toss her onto the examination table.

Needless to say when your spouse's eyes roll back into their head your heart hits your throat. I honestly thought she was having a seizure. During the 2 minutes that the pass-out ensued I was really very scared.

But now that it is over it is pretty funny so I thought I'd share. Below is the wife with her Clifford apple juice box they gave her.




Oh and the best part is that during the melee one of the nurses had laid the wet cloth for her forehead on the tissue paper of the exam table. Which in turn made the table and part of her leg damp. After I came back in the room from getting my shots down the hall (hey we weren't taking any chances) the wife told me that she had thought she had wet her pants.

Lucky for her the nurses are only dreading our return next month b/c of her tendency to pass out on them, not due to uncontrollable urination.

Good times.

It's not like I can use it...

So with only 191 days (yeah, I started a daily countdown) before we depart I've decided to begin the grueling task of selling most of our earthly belongings. Well, not most but a pretty good chunk of them.

The first to go is the treadmill as I obviously can't use it and we both have gym memberships anyway. Although they have been making a mint off of me for the past 2 1/2 months. And it is in our office which is now really "my office" where I actually work so I'd like the extra room.

Anyhoo, I thought we should offer it to our friends before I start wading through the scam-artists on Craigslist.

If you want it let me know...we're asking $150 for it.

This wheel-y sucks

Back to the podiatrist today...seems my body has decided that it has been working on this broken bone for 8 weeks now and has decided to just give up on healing it.

I had no idea this was even possible...I know I'm getting up there but my body just giving up on healing itself?? I'm only 29 + 1 for God's sake!

Insane as it sounds to me, the doc seems to think this is what is happening. So from here we bring in artificial help in the way of a "bone stimulator" which will basically use electric currents to try to wake up my lazy bone cells so maybe they'll get back to work.

I'll should hear back from the stimulator rep sometime today or tomorrow and then have to set up an appointment for them to come over and show me how to use it. Apparently it will be something like this...



Looks like a good time.

Oh and the best part of all this is that I now have to take an even more conservative approach to my healing and am now limited to walking only "when necessary". I was advised to cancel our trip to Boston for E&K's wedding and if I go to Pride at all it will be via a wheelchair.

Although the wife says that being pushed around all day would be her idea of heaven, I just can't get my mind around it. It just seems ridiculous to think of myself in a wheelchair being push around like an infant.

So my mind refuses to realize the severity of the injury and my body won't get to work on healing it. Rock, let me introduce you to Hard Place.