Presto! You're a good grandchild!

Okay my Grandmother is quite possibly the biggest worrier on the face of this planet...and no this apple didn't fall too far from the tree, God help me. Her extreme worrying became even more evident to me last week when she stayed with me. I believe the question "Is the alarm on?" was asked about 143 times in 5 days.

I was really concerned what her reaction would be when we told her we were living overseas for 2 years. Although better than I expected, she still cried and made a few references to us being mauled by crazy foreigners. "Well you're going to have to call me every single day so I know you two are okay!"

After a few failed attempts to explain to my Grandmother about roaming charges I decided to start looking at other options of communication...options that excluded email on her part because she can barely use her remote controls. I needed to find some sort of technology that wouldn't cause her more stress than enjoyment.

What I found was HP's Presto Printer. It is a printer that with service (less than half of what my internet costs) gives a person an email address and then just prints the emails for them up to 3 times a day. Looked good, not a lot of buttons, made specifically for seniors and had good reviews. So I bought it for her birthday and gave it to her last week.


Monday I got an email telling me when she had plugged it in. Almost instantaneously my phone rings and on the other end of the line is my ecstatic Grandmother.

In between her screaming for my Grandfather to come in the room to look she is giggling and telling me "It works! It works!! I'm getting one right now!! Oh it is from you, pictures of me at the botanical gardens! Oh, Oh, I'm getting another one, it is pictures of Spencer (great grandchild who lives in South Dakota)!!! Oh, here comes one from your brother!!" Seriously she was beyond thrilled to be hearing from all of us and the pictures just sent her into Grandma euphoria.

I seriously cannot recommend this thing more if you have a Grandparent who is left out of the loop because they can't "do a computer". It is really easy to set up. As the account manager you just enter your family's emails (this keeps spam out), enter the times of day you want them to print, you can even change font sizes or styles...it even monitors their ink level for you.

I've emailed my Grams every day this week...just a quick hello or a quick story from my day...a picture here and there. I know that these few minutes I've spent typing have meant the world to her. I also know that she won't have to worry about me while we're overseas and I won't have to pay $6.00 per minute to talk to her all the time.

Another huge perk is I now know what I am getting her every single year for Christmas...another year of service on her Presto.

If you're interested you can go to their website but I recommend buying one on Amazon, you'll save like $30 and you can get free shipping.

Boo Palin

Scariest Ghost Ever or Ash's Biggest Fantasy?



I'm torn.

Shine On

well it isn't the book I promised but I still think it would make a great one...

the faces of moonshine...

 

a very tribal b-day

Weekend spent in Ellijay for L's birthday goes down as one of the best weekends I can remember and most definitely the most "tribal" of my life.

How do you have a tribal b-day weekend? Well, first you need a beautiful cabin in the middle of some beautiful woods, an amazing group of friends one of which comes equipped with a couple of bongos and didgeridoo...then add some good ol' moonshine. Of course other props that are useful include an Amy Winehouse wig, a cowboy hat, a poncho that smells like a horse-barn and a giant inflatible ghost.

I don't think I have ever laughed more in my life. My stomach muscles truly hurt today, along with my bruised palm from beating the bongo (I should have pretended like Ash). But it was all worth it.

Slide show will be up soon but to tide you over here are some of the (less vulgar) quotes from this weekend.

"I'm going to spend my weekend making love to a mason jar." -B
"I'm actually a very good dancer" -S (while doing possibly the worst running man ever)
"You want some bleeding tee-tee later?" -J
"I am so excited! I have never had anything huge and blow up!" -L
"I can't concentrate, I'm too worried about Boo Palin!" -L
"I got clotheslined by a clothesline" -A
"Lets go Outback tonight..." -Ash
"I can't have Indians cutting my hair!" -M
"You can't put racist remarks in my mouth!" -M
"That corn liquor is non-denominational...it knows every tribe...it taps into every soul...it crosses every existence, every experience, it crosses every tribal heartbeat...every tribal intention...every human being. -MM
"That corn liquor has licked her!" -J
"It is highly likely that I will fall out at the apple festival." -A

boo!

 

Scary Housing Market

Truly one of the scariest halloween decorations I've ever seen.

nuts

Okay, so it took me a few days to even get this footage. It seems the only thing this little demon squirrel fears is being captured on film. As you can see from video each time I turn the camera on he hightails it out sight.

This same squirrel comes to the window of my office to torment me at least 30 times a day...he shakes his tail at me and no matter how much I hiss or swing my arms at him he just sits there with a "f-you" look on his little rodent face.

I even hit him with a garbanzo bean from my salad (right in the stomach!) and he didn't even flinch!!!

I am starting to wonder if one of my exes has died and been reincarnated into this animal...



I've decided to name him Sarah Palin and believe he could only annoy me more if he starts squeaking to me about "mavericks" and "hockey moms".

debatin(g)

Okay so we can all admit that Sarah Palin did not fall on her face the way we expected her too. Although I did throw up in my mouth each and every single time she winked, pronounced words ending in "ing" without the "g" and any of the other cutesy bull that flowed from her mouth..."joe sixpack" and a "shout-out"...really?

I also think it is fair to say she had a pretty low bar set for her in the first place.

I am so proud of Joe Biden...I think he did an amazing job of staying on topic and sticking to the plan of going after John McCain. CNN & all the respectable news networks are claiming he won the debate hands down.

I always like to see how the right perceives things so I went to Fox New this morning and here is what the other side is saying...other than the first guy she didn't exactly receive a glowing report even from her own peeps.

Christopher Coffey
Republican Political Consultant

Governor Palin won the debate. Many expected her to fall flat, but she defeated expectations and in the process, beat Senator Biden.

Sarah Palin was sharp, earnest, informed and articulate. She spoke with authority on tax relief, education, energy, the environment, international affairs and health care. She jealously defended the top of the ticket, and best of all, she ceded absolutely no ground to Senator Biden.

Joe Biden was the smooth Beltway veteran — as expected. Though he showed command of the Democratic message, he talked about the middle class, not to the middle class with heartfelt understanding. Sarah Palin did the opposite. In fact, Biden seemed to become increasingly frustrated as the debate continued.

Attention McCain Campaign: If you want to win this one, we will need to see more of Governor Sarah Palin.
Ellen Ratner
Bureau Chief, Talk Radio News Service/FOX News Political Contributor
Gov. Palin was clearly prepared by sticking to her script and not answering direct questions. It will make her and Senator McCain’s base happy but I think that it will not move the middle. Most Americans are wise to avoiding answers. Senator Biden was smart, cool, very human and direct.

Call me an elitist but her use of folksy English drove me crazy. I think a potential Vice President should be a model with their speech.
James P. Pinkerton
Writer/Columnist, The American Conservative magazine/FOX News Political ContributorPalin hit energy hard, but probably not hard enough.

Biden was full of facts and figures, and hit the Bush administration
hard.

Interestingly, Palin mostly agreed with him.
Bill Kristol
Editor, The Weekly Standard/FOX News Political Contributor

It was match point against Sarah Palin and she won the set and kept the race alive.

Lanny Davis
Former White House Special Counsel/FOX News Political ContributorAgain we see two impressive performances — with Joe Biden clearly more substantive, more presence as a vice president ready to assume office, and as a sympathetic, gracious and likeable man. Sarah Palin achieved her goal — to rehabilitate the rough spots from her Katie Couric interview to the “Saturday Night Live” satire. She avoided a train wreck, and that means she had a good night.
Cal Thomas
Syndicated Columnist/FOX News Political Contributor
Governor Sarah Palin did not lose the debate and neither did she appear confused as she has in some recent interviews. She was mostly positive, upbeat and seemed happy (even privileged) to be on that stage. Joe Biden did what vice presidential candidates do: attack the presidential candidate of the other side.

While Biden attacked the judgment, policies and beliefs of John McCain, Governor Palin missed many target-rich opportunities, including her failure to attack Congressional Democrats, including Barack Obama, for their role in helping to create the mortgage crisis. Biden made several factual misstatements regarding McCain’s voting record and some of his positions, but don’t look for the mainstream media to correct them.

What the debate lacked was an overarching philosophical vision. Both candidates seemed committed to avoiding mistakes. Biden indulged in the usual class warfare and envy culture and mentioned Exxon-Mobile several times. There’s an answer to that, but Palin didn’t even try to defend the oil companies and what they spend in order to produce the fuel that drives our vehicles and heats many of our homes.

Palin could have defended success and the hard work that produces it, while Biden dwelt on the needy. She did use a phrase one almost never hears Democrats utter: personal responsibility.

I thought Biden demonstrated more authority, but that might be a function of his long time on the public stage, his height advantage and, yes, testosterone. But Palin, I thought, demonstrated an ability to speak in ways that probably connected more with middle America and these are the voters who ultimately will decide this election.
Kirsten Powers
Columnist/FOX News Political ContributorBiden did what he needed to do. He needed really to do no harm. He didn’t really take the bait too much.

i hope i don't have friends that don't vote...but if so...

Thanks to Cassi for this video.

Don't forget in Georgia the deadline to register is next Monday...OCTOBER 6TH. So no excuses, this is way too important.

ask and ye shall receive

Okay this is so not a joke. I checked the Obama website later this afternoon (I've been checking numerous times a day for weeks now) and it finally said my signs had shipped. However, it would not let me track the package...leading me to believe it had not yet been received by the shipping company.

2 minutes ago I go out the back door to let Monkey Sue out and low and behold there is a tube package laying on my back porch...my signs!

taking advantage of being on a corner
stuck one in the neighbor's yard for good measure

I'll be sure to send him an open letter on my blog asking for world peace and financial stability for all when he becomes President.

signs?

Dear Mr. Obama:

I hate to bother you at such a crucial time in your campaign but I was wondering if I would actually receive my yards signs before election day. It has been over a month since I ordered them (and rounded up my donation) yet they still haven't even shipped. Hate to complain but I was hoping to show my support and use these signs to influence voters in your favor but I am afraid time is running out. I even chose to order signs directly from your campaign so all the proceeds would go to you...even though I thought the ones on CafePress.com had cooler designs.

I suppose if not, I could use them as "victory signs" but I'm afraid at that point my neighbors may feel I'm just jumping on a bandwagon.

So if you get a second away from campaigning, debating, and trying to steer the country away from the next Great Depression I would greatly appreciate you looking into the matter.

Thanks in advance,
MAV