Tuesday, January 13, 2009

expiration date

I went for my annual “lady checkup” today. These yearly appointments are never the most pleasant experience but hey, if you have a uterus you have to do it. Or at least you should.

I really like/respect/trust my doctor so it is hard for me to ignore what she was lecturing me on today…I got “the baby speech”.

In the 6 or so years I’ve been seeing her she has never before uttered the word “baby”. The closest we ever came was on my first visit when she asked me about birth control. Obviously, we didn’t get too far down that road.

But today the entire visit was asking me about whether the wife and I were thinking about children and how although she thought I still had years to decide, I did need to keep in mind my ever aging plumbing.

She is definitely not from the school of “you better do it before you’re 35 or your baby will have 3 heads” , she had her last child at 41, so the fact that she felt it was time to begin this dialogue with me really weirded me out. Even after knowing we were leaving for 2 years and that we aren’t in the market for any kids anytime soon, I could totally sense her sense of obligation to let me know that this needed to be on a burner, if only on one of the back ones.

If you know me, you know I am already hyper aware of my age. Turning 30 last year felt like a death sentence and maybe I brought it upon myself with all the negative thinking but I think we can all agree my health didn’t exactly help me feel like a spring chicken.

So here comes my doctor talking about my baby timeline and my eggs drying up. It also didn’t help that today is also exactly one month before I turn 31.

Maybe I’m even more sensitive to this because I’m about to leave the country for 2 years so I feel my deadline is going to be accelerated when we come back and can even start talking about a family. Not to mention about 98% of our friends are planning to start their families before we even return. Oh, the pressure!!

I’m not even sure where I’m going with all this…maybe because I’m not sure I even ever want to physically be preggers or if we truly want kids in our future.

I guess the one thing I do know is that I’m grateful for the next two years of not thinking about it and just really enjoying the time the Wife and I have together, just the two of us…

at least for now….

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