stitch

in 7th grade or maybe it was 8th, who knows, i was forced with the rest of my class to take 6 weeks periods of electives. these electives included "shop", "technology", "home economics" and some other stuff that i can't remember.

i'm not sure what the point of many of these classes were other than to put us in danger (can you imagine a 12 year old me using a jigsaw?)or bore us to tears. the classes were really more of entertainment than education.

as domestic as i am now i really found home economics to be the most difficult. the year i took it we had to sew pillows. i chose a chocolate chip cookie pattern as it seemed the least complicated. i even somehow convinced my teacher that i hated nuts in my real cookies and didn't want to see them reflected on my pillow to get out of more sewing.

this pillow was probably the most challenging thing i faced throughout my k-12 education...i had a hard time with chemistry my sophomore year but, in all honesty i'd have to say that using a sewing machine was far more confusing to me than ions, compounds and elements.

as with all things i don't immediately excel at, i found sewing stupid. so stupid and below me that i persuaded one of my guy friends (who had already finished his baseball bat pillow) to sit on the opposite side of my machine and actually sew it backwards. in the end he actually did a pretty good job.

i don't believe my lack of sewing skills has hindered my life too much...until now. now i have an amazing opportunity to see the world and what i think is an incredible idea for a children's book series...all of which hinges on a character that needs to be made...which includes not only creating this little guy but actually sewing him together.

so far i've made one and he was a disaster. considering i had to make my own pattern i'm not yet too frustrated about needing to make adjustments. but, if this next one doesn't look much better i'm afraid my 7th grade self will emerge and this idea will be over before it even really began.

black and blue christmas

after 9 months of dealing with my right foot issues i was just starting to walk like a normal person.

so what happens the tuesday before christmas? i fall in a huge hole in the sidewalk in east atlanta and end up breaking my big toe and maybe his buddy next door too!

i find myself again unable to walk, on a couch with my foot elevated and feeling helpless. not exactly the kind of ending to this already difficult year i was hoping for...

i'm trying to keep everything in perspective. it is just a toe or two and it could be a lot worse. i could be like our dear friend who is facing not only another surgery but a series of them on her knee.

a couple of broken toes really isn't the end of the world when you really think about it...right?

where are we?

the nomadic life is going really well thus far. the only issue we've even run into is that our friends don't know where the heck we are, when we are returning or when we're leaving. this confusion has led some people to start trying to tell us "goodbye" when we see them...like "see you in a year" kind of goodbye.

we have over a month before we leave and to help out these should be our whereabouts for the next 33 days...

Dec 21st-26th- Wife is in Albany.
Dec 21st-23rd- I'm in Atlanta at Pablo's.
Dec 24th-26th- I join the wife in Albany.
Dec 27th-Jan 9th- We'll be in Atlanta (base camp is Pablo's) but we'll also go to Athens for a couple of days in there to deal with new house stuff.
Jan 10th-23rd- In Midtown at 4 Seasons.

January 24th- We fly out around 5pm!

timing

with under 40 days to go before we leave the country we still have a laundry list of items to complete before we depart. moving out of our house and having it rented was one of our biggest worries so getting that behind us relieved a lot of stress.

so what do we decide to do with less than 40 days left in the country? buy another house of course!

the house was just renovated by hp and has great high-end finishes...double-headed showers, a really cool tin roof and floors i would kill to have in our atlanta house. it is a 2/2 with a huge fenced in backyard and really close to campus. we close this friday so if you know anyone who is moving to athens we're going to have a great house for rent.

they say timing is everything but i think there is something to be said for taking risks in life...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

life as we knew it

We successfully moved out of the house this past Saturday. As with all moves it was a pain in the rear and the fact that I ended up having to have my wisdom teeth removed Wednesday morning didn't exactly help things move any more smoothly. Hydrocodone and organized moves don't really go hand in hand I guess.

So our lives as nomads have officially begun. It is strange living out of a suitcase and knowing each time I open it that this will be the norm for 2 years. I'm sure all of it will become second nature to me but at this point (day 2) I'm still struggling with how to organize my train case so I can put my makeup and fix my hair without having to pack and repack it 50 times during the process.

Life as we knew it is over and I am strangely at complete peace with that fact. I really think the acupuncturist did something to me in the last session to release me from the bondage of my high strung and worrisome ways...either that or maybe that part of me was located in one of my wisdom teeth.

a very, very, very fine house

waking up this morning i realized we only have 5 more mornings in our house before we leave it for 2+ years.

we've been the only people to inhabit these walls since it was built and it is hard to think of other people living here.

this is where the wife proposed to me while we were under contract, where we've had birthday parties, wedding showers, christmas parties, georgia football parties, bbq's, easter potlucks, poker nights, game nights, brunches, dinner parties...okay so we like to entertain a lot...it is where we've laughed a million laughs, cried from sadness and joy, where i've cooked more food than i can remember, baked a zillion cookies and probably a hundred cakes and had more cocktails with friends than i need to try to calculate...this has been our home for the past 4 years and although i cannot wait for what the future holds, there is a tinge of sadness in leaving it behind.

i know of course, it isn't the actual house that i'm sad to leave but all of our wonderful friends who helped us create such wonderful memories within it's walls.

so, thanks guys...we love you all and are looking forward to creating many more when we return...

economy woes and equal rights-two birds, one stone

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

thanks to hody for this awesome video!

'tis the season to give back

11 days and we're out of the house. obviously, we won't be able to throw our annual holiday charity party this year :(

we are however, still sponsoring families with the genesis shelter thanks to the help of the generous folks in the wife's department at work.

the wife and i are also personally sponsoring a single dad and 2 year old boy. so, if you are looking for a way to give back this holiday season we'd welcome any help in making his christmas a very special one this year.

the son wears a 4T and is in need of clothes and age appropriate educational toys and books. we'll also need target and grocery store gift cards for the dad.

remember, the genesis foundation is always in need of toiletries (soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc.) and baby supplies (diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, etc.) for their in-house families. it is an amazing organization that does an incredible job helping homeless families with newborns and young children get back on their feet, get education, find jobs and homes and truly become self-reliant.

i know it is easy to get caught up in the madness that is the holiday season but i hope everyone can pause just a minute and spare just a little to those who truly need it so much.

if you want to donate or want more info on the genesis shelter please just let me know!

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Sir Winston Churchill

also needs a good home, or a bad one...i don't really care

We are also selling our coffee and end tables if anyone is interested. If you are, please let me know ASAP...we'll give you a friends and family discount :)

Note: they are much darker in real life.

Needs a Good Home

The Mini is officially on the market so if you know anyone who wants an awesome little car please let us know. We have an ad on Craigslist here if you want more detail.

so much to be thankful for...

yesterday we gave thanks for our blessings...a new direction in our country, our friends, our health, our families and so much more.

today i hope we can keep those who are no so fortunate in our prayers.

especially the people in mumbai who are dealing with this horrible situation- the injured, the families who have lost loved ones, those still being held by these madmen and the indian national guard who are risking their lives to save them and restore peace.

this, of course, is weighing heavy on us with our impending trip to india but we know coke will always put our personal safety above all else.

it is a sad and unfortunate fact that we live in a world where this sort of senseless violence and terror could happen anywhere.

The Santaland Diaries

To continue our new favorite Christmas tradition we are going again this year to see The Santaland Diaries.

If you're not familiar, it's a play based on the hilarious short story by David Sedaris all about his adventures working as an elf at Macy's for the Christmas Holiday. If you're not familiar with David Sedaris then you need to go directly to the bookstore and get a copy of "Naked" right now...like now!

We're going on the 11th and would love for anyone who can make it to join us. You can buy tickets online through the theater. FYI- don't spring for the front row "VIP" tickets. The theater is tiny and you don't want to sit that close...unless you want a ride on Santa's sleigh :)

We'll probably do dinner/beverages beforehand so if you want to join just let us know.

And if you can't go that night I highly recommend you go at some point...you will not regret it! Unless you hate laughing until it hurts...then maybe you should go see The Nutcracker instead...which I think we're going to see as well, but that is another blog.


Just a tidbit of holiday cheer from my favorite elf, Crumpet...


"She said, "I'm going to have you fired."

I had two people say that to me today, "I'm going to have you fired." Go ahead, be my guest. I'm wearing a green velvet costume; it doesn't get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are?

"I'm going to have you fired!" And I wanted to lean over and say, "I'm going to have you killed."

balls of fire

i have officially reached the point of "stressing out" about leaving...i have a ball of fire in each of my shoulders that have not let up for 2 weeks. my acupuncturist even did "cupping" on my back but all i got was a round bruise that hurt like heck for the entire day.

there is still so much to do and finalize and it seems whenever we check something off the list we add three more things to it.

the american who left last january only had like 2-3 weeks notice...i have no understanding of how she got everything done.

all the peeps we know in the international dept are so laid back and nonchalant about it all...i hope after we leave that i will somehow reach this seemingly stress-free nirvana they all seem to live in. do we get a bunch of xanex in our medical bag or what??

i guess until then i'll just continue eating advil like their candy and waking up at 4am worrying about stupid things like where i'm going to find a one-piece bathing suit this time of year for ever-so-modest india.

booked

Plane tickets to Delhi are booked! We leave at 5:20pm on the 24th!

Poor Wife has to travel coach because I'm with her...it is going to be a long 19 hours and 10 minutes!!

Delhi here we come!

No more speculating, wishing, crossing our fingers or guessing...we are definitely headed to India in January.

We are really excited to be going to Delhi for 2 main reasons...one, we couldn't ask for better weather to be spending our winter months in (average high 75/average low 55) and it's a part of the world we probably would have never seen otherwise. I mean, we love to travel but it's the places that we'd probably never vacation that are the ones I am most excited about visiting.

We are already trying to plan our weekend excursions...thus far we've thrown around going to Nepal, visiting the coast in Goa, going to Dubai, doing a desert tour and obviously seeing the Taj Mahal.

We'll be there for 7 weeks so if you have been to India or know anyone who has it is finally time to start giving us travel advise!

thank you

a very sincere thank you to everyone who came out on saturday to protest prop 8. it was amazing to be surrounded by like-minded people who believe in equality and actually gave up a few hours of their saturday to fight for it.

knb pointed out how awesome it would have been had there been the same number of people there that go to pride each year...sadly it seems that a large part of our community ranks drinking above their status as second class citizens in this country.

big thanks to our amazing neighbors that may be straight but are definitely not narrow. you guys are gr8te!!

there are going to be more protests to come and i really hope to see more of our friends there.

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” -MLK Jr.

why marriage equality is important

just three out of thousands of marriages that had and still have no protections...



i pray the wife and i are still not fighting this fight when we have our 30th anniversary...

saturday

I want to seriously ask that everyone come out on Saturday to either the rally Downtown or the vigil in Midtown or both if you can.

I don't care if you are straight, gay or somewhere in-between...this is my family, this is your family, these are our neighbors' families...we need to stand together against Prop 8.

I know one day I will want my children to know that I stood up and was counted...that I was a face in what I hope is a sea of faces that stood up to discrimination and hate...that I wanted to not only fight for my marriage but for true marriage equality for all...I want them to know that I fought to protect them before they were even born...

I hope I can tell them you were there with me.

say no to H8!!!

2 very important events happening this Saturday. I urge all of you in Georgia to come out and show your support. The Wife and I will be at the candlelight vigil so anyone who wants to come with is more than welcome!

This is NOT just California's issue nor is it just a gay rights issue. This is a CIVIL RIGHTS issue and we cannot stand on the sidelines and let our rights be chiseled away at by fear, hate and ignorance.

A message from the event organizers:

"A nation-wide protest is planned in opposition of California's Prop. 8 for this Saturday, November 15th. Join The Impact is organizing the event via the web and organizers have two Atlanta events planned to coincide with the national protests.

The first event (rally) will begin at 1:30 PM outside of the Georgia State Capitol building. You are asked to bring signs, flags and wear t-shirts voicing your opposition to Prop. 8. The official blog for this event is Atlanta's March for Equality.

The second event to follow will be a candlelight vigil at the corner of 10th and Piedmont outside Outwrite Books in Midtown from 5 PM to 8PM. You are asked to bring candles and again signs to demonstrate your resolve for marriage equality. If you are on Facebook you can view more details about the vigil here.

So please plan on attending one of these events. You should be aware the local media (television and print) will likely cover these events. Show the city, state and our country that you care about your civil rights and that you demand equality now. The more people that attend the greater the visual impact on television and we need to demonstrate the strength and power of our community. We need numbers and now is not the time to pretend you do not care.

There is not much time so get the word out. Tell all your friends, send emails, post on your blog, and make your voice heard."

yaba daba goodbye!

I just heard Jack Cafferty on CNN describe the Obama family's visit to the White House today as a "Flintstones meet the Jetsons Moment".

Love it!

I can't wait for Fred and Wilma to pack their bags and high-tail it back to Bedrock...I mean Texas...I always get those mixed up.

historic pack rat

Hello, my name is MAV and I'm a Pack Rat...

I have worked really hard to fight my addiction of gathering and saving things over the past couple of years. Mainly, because the Wife is a much bigger pack rat than I and if we both kept doing it we'd end up being those weird old ladies with the house you could barely walk through due to the stacks of newspapers, magazines and orange peels.

Anyway, I fell off the wagon today when I read at PT that the AJC was selling an 11 page collector edition of the important front pages of Obama's campaign and win.

You can buy it at any Kroger or Publix in the city or at the AJC office downtown.

I think the most historic Presidency of our lifetime is worth a few inches in the attic.

the wedding that wouldn't die...

Okay, so I know it has been like 2 1/2 years since our wedding but now that I'm packing it has come to my attention that we never gave any of the wedding party a copy of the video.

Russ did a great job with the video and the reception is pretty hilarious. If you don't see it now, believe me, you'll be seeing footage at your 40th birthday party ;)

So man and matron of honor, bridesmaids, and our bridal champion, you know who you are and if you want a copy before they go into storage for 2+ years you need to let me know.

apparently monkeys don't like the taste of leaves

dear california- kiss it.

Although our dear friend's sister who resides in California said it best (see comments on previous entry but beware there is no holding back with the language)I would like to say how incredibly disappointed I am in Prop 8 passing.

This vote of course doesn't directly effect my already unlawful Georgia marriage but it very much effects the prospect of it becoming lawful in the near future. It also greatly effects our plans to get married in Napa Valley when we return in two years...so say goodbye to that tourism revenue Cali, and if you knew us you'd know we don't do anything on a small scale, especially a wedding.

But in all seriousness, I think the thing it effects most is the trust I try to have in my fellow man.

To cast a vote to deny us the same civil liberties and freedoms OUR forefathers guaranteed to ALL of US is an atrocity. To cast a vote in favor of writing invidious discrimination into your state constitution is reprehensible.

No excuse is acceptable, especially religious ones...and I don't want to start quoting Bible verses here but if anyone reads this and wants to have a theological discussion about it please feel free to email me.

So to all those who voted in favor of Prop 8 in California and to those voters in Arkansas and Florida who helped them do the same thing and worse:

What you did was wrong. Period.

I pray for a time that no person ever has to feel separate and unequal from their fellow man.

At this time in our history, more than ever before, I take solace in the words of an incredible man spoken 45 years ago...

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

God Bless America

I want to first admit that I fell asleep way before the speech last night and had to watch it this morning. Sorry, but as CNN pointed out I'm no longer the "youth vote" and I was exhausted. I was very confident when I went to sleep that I would wake up to a new America and let me tell you, it felt great when I did.

I am overwhelmed today with feelings of pride and hope for my country. I know there is an incredibly long road ahead of us but I feel, for the first time in 8 years, that we now will have a leader whose intelligence and judgement we can trust to guide us, as a nation, to a brighter day.

I started to get angry this morning when I heard 3 people on NPR that were leaving the Chambliss event last night tell a reporter they felt like it was another 9/11. To compare the most devastating national tragedy we have experienced in our lifetime to Barack winning the Presidency is probably one of the most offensive things I have ever heard. I imagine that the surviving families of the victims of 9/11 would agree.

But, I decided to let the anger go. This is a beautiful day and an amazing time to be an American. I know we cannot heal the hate and division in this country overnight...but I am hopeful that in time we, as a nation, can work together for the greater good and I believe Barack Obama is the man who can help us do that.

"Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, We are not enemies, but friends...though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too."

time to make up your mind

So tomorrow I go to cast my vote for Obama. The Wife and I are getting up at the crack of dawn and going to stand in what we hope to be a not-so-long line. The receptionist at my physical therapy office and I are convinced we will breeze through the lines thanks to all the suffering the early voters experienced before us.

I'm really hopeful but also nervous about the outcome of tomorrow's elections. I just hope all those "undecided" have finally realized this isn't a hard decision. You either like the way this country is going to hell in a hand basket or you want some change for the better!

Being an extremely opinionated person, I've always had a difficult time understanding those who can truly be "undecided" when the differences are so great.

I recently read the article in the New Yorker by my fave author, David Sedaris, where he, too, expressed his confusion with these people...

"I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?"

So come on America it is time to stop pausing, come to your senses and order the damn chicken!

tagged

i believe our blog may have been tagged by our friend in the orient...so although i am the only one who actually posts anything on this blog, it is technically 2girlsintheworld and therefore a joint blog so i'm going to write 7 random things about both of us.

1. at birth the doctor kept saying the Wife had the heartbeat of a boy and her parents were going to name her john
2. my family calls me M.D. (and it makes no difference to them that i have now dropped my middle name)
3. the Wife's favorite movie is Silence of the Lambs
4. my fave is Coal Miner's Daughter
5. i've always been really superstitious and although i try to hide it from people i'm always worried about stupid little things causing bad mojo...i think it is the island blood in me
6. the Wife's biggest pet peeve is mouth noises (i.e. smacking while eating, crunching food, popping gum)
7. we have sponsored a child for over 5 years who lives in south america named Carlos Miguel...he is now 9 and loves salsa music. his photos are always on our fridge in case you thought he was one of my relatives ;)

so there you go, and as for tagging others i don't know 7 bloggers.

but just in case (see #5)...

Cassi, Dr. Pants, Em & Beth, Gayle & Oprah -you're it!

the list

When the Wife and I tell people about us leaving for 2 years we get a lot of questions. The number one question we get and the number one that we wish we had an answer for is "Where are you going first?"

Well, we still don't know where exactly, but we at least have it narrowed down now because yesterday the Wife received the list of 1st Round locations!

Which are...

Central & Southern Europe (Poland, Hungary/Czech)
Adriatic & Balkans Region
India
Southern Eurasia
Turkey
Nordics Region
Chile

There are also 2 Middle East locations but we're fairly certain they wouldn't send 2 American gay women there :)

We don't yet know the particulars about the regional locations. The wife is meeting with her manager next week to go over where those audits are actually located.

From there she has to put her top 3 choices and then wait to see what part of the world fate has in store for us first.

We hope to know by the end of November where we are definitely going to be for the first 8 weeks. But for now we're just thrilled to at least have a general idea of where that may be!

toothpaste for dinner

BC got me hooked on the this guy's comics a couple of years ago...these were my favorites from this month...

time keeps on ticking

With the prospect of surgery no longer hovering over our heads like a dark cloud (YAY!!) our plans and preparations for leaving are again in full swing. We have been waiting for so long but it is only now really hitting us that time is running out and this is going to happen.

Just some of the things that are making it all seem so real…

~ We are signing the lease to our house this weekend.
~ We move out in 6 weeks and 2 days.
~ I bought the last pack of toilet tissue I will buy for 2 years… and it wasn’t even the big pack!
~ The Wife has to go to her office only 32 more days.
~ We still have like 1,345,765 things left on our “to-do” list.
~ We leave the country in 12 weeks and 3 days.

Yikes.

cheney 2.0

Looks like Palin believes she will be in charge of Senate if she gets to be VP. Oh, and like a certain other VP I know she doesn't seem to have any issue with abusing power. She just gets better and better.

seriously funny and just plain serious

44 years

I awoke at 5am this morning from a nightmare. I can't remember what the nightmare was about but in the 2 hours it took me to get back to sleep I couldn't stop thinking about the real nightmare we as a nation may face...4 more years of a Republican in office.

I know that Obama is up in the polls but this is doesn't mean the fight is over. I'm addicted to CNN and I keep hearing about all the issues arising as he rises in the polls. People may not come out on election day because they think he's got it "in the bag". Others are talking about the Bradley Effect, where people tell pollsters they are voting for him but when in the booth let their racism take over and vote for the white guy.

The latter of these issues bothers me more than you can imagine. I am simultaneously saddened and enraged that people in this day and age would really allow race to make their decision for them.

The wife has been out of town for two weeks so I've been watching a lot of movies that she would normally object to based on subtitles or sad content. A couple of nights ago I watched Mississippi Burning which for those who haven't seen is based on the true story of 3 civil rights workers being killed in Jessup County Mississippi during the summer of 1964. 2 of these men were white and the FBI was sent to investigate. It is a horrifyingly wonderful portrayal of the hate and violence that saturated the south at that time. It rips my heart in two every single time I watch it.

Towards the end of the film as I was wiping away tears I began to think of how recent in history this really was...just 44 years ago we were drinking out of separate water fountains and violence against African Americans was not only tolerated but even encouraged. 44 years later and we now have an extremely viable Presidential candidate that just happens to be African American.

That is an amazing feat in a relatively short amount of time. But every single time I see videos of people slinging racial slurs and spewing hate because of the color of Obama's skin I am reminded of just how far we have left to go.

I pray every night that the state of this country will force people to see past their bigotry and hate. I truly can't imagine anything making me more proud of my country and sadly that is something I haven't felt for a long time.

Presto! You're a good grandchild!

Okay my Grandmother is quite possibly the biggest worrier on the face of this planet...and no this apple didn't fall too far from the tree, God help me. Her extreme worrying became even more evident to me last week when she stayed with me. I believe the question "Is the alarm on?" was asked about 143 times in 5 days.

I was really concerned what her reaction would be when we told her we were living overseas for 2 years. Although better than I expected, she still cried and made a few references to us being mauled by crazy foreigners. "Well you're going to have to call me every single day so I know you two are okay!"

After a few failed attempts to explain to my Grandmother about roaming charges I decided to start looking at other options of communication...options that excluded email on her part because she can barely use her remote controls. I needed to find some sort of technology that wouldn't cause her more stress than enjoyment.

What I found was HP's Presto Printer. It is a printer that with service (less than half of what my internet costs) gives a person an email address and then just prints the emails for them up to 3 times a day. Looked good, not a lot of buttons, made specifically for seniors and had good reviews. So I bought it for her birthday and gave it to her last week.


Monday I got an email telling me when she had plugged it in. Almost instantaneously my phone rings and on the other end of the line is my ecstatic Grandmother.

In between her screaming for my Grandfather to come in the room to look she is giggling and telling me "It works! It works!! I'm getting one right now!! Oh it is from you, pictures of me at the botanical gardens! Oh, Oh, I'm getting another one, it is pictures of Spencer (great grandchild who lives in South Dakota)!!! Oh, here comes one from your brother!!" Seriously she was beyond thrilled to be hearing from all of us and the pictures just sent her into Grandma euphoria.

I seriously cannot recommend this thing more if you have a Grandparent who is left out of the loop because they can't "do a computer". It is really easy to set up. As the account manager you just enter your family's emails (this keeps spam out), enter the times of day you want them to print, you can even change font sizes or styles...it even monitors their ink level for you.

I've emailed my Grams every day this week...just a quick hello or a quick story from my day...a picture here and there. I know that these few minutes I've spent typing have meant the world to her. I also know that she won't have to worry about me while we're overseas and I won't have to pay $6.00 per minute to talk to her all the time.

Another huge perk is I now know what I am getting her every single year for Christmas...another year of service on her Presto.

If you're interested you can go to their website but I recommend buying one on Amazon, you'll save like $30 and you can get free shipping.

Boo Palin

Scariest Ghost Ever or Ash's Biggest Fantasy?



I'm torn.

Shine On

well it isn't the book I promised but I still think it would make a great one...

the faces of moonshine...

 

a very tribal b-day

Weekend spent in Ellijay for L's birthday goes down as one of the best weekends I can remember and most definitely the most "tribal" of my life.

How do you have a tribal b-day weekend? Well, first you need a beautiful cabin in the middle of some beautiful woods, an amazing group of friends one of which comes equipped with a couple of bongos and didgeridoo...then add some good ol' moonshine. Of course other props that are useful include an Amy Winehouse wig, a cowboy hat, a poncho that smells like a horse-barn and a giant inflatible ghost.

I don't think I have ever laughed more in my life. My stomach muscles truly hurt today, along with my bruised palm from beating the bongo (I should have pretended like Ash). But it was all worth it.

Slide show will be up soon but to tide you over here are some of the (less vulgar) quotes from this weekend.

"I'm going to spend my weekend making love to a mason jar." -B
"I'm actually a very good dancer" -S (while doing possibly the worst running man ever)
"You want some bleeding tee-tee later?" -J
"I am so excited! I have never had anything huge and blow up!" -L
"I can't concentrate, I'm too worried about Boo Palin!" -L
"I got clotheslined by a clothesline" -A
"Lets go Outback tonight..." -Ash
"I can't have Indians cutting my hair!" -M
"You can't put racist remarks in my mouth!" -M
"That corn liquor is non-denominational...it knows every tribe...it taps into every soul...it crosses every existence, every experience, it crosses every tribal heartbeat...every tribal intention...every human being. -MM
"That corn liquor has licked her!" -J
"It is highly likely that I will fall out at the apple festival." -A

boo!

 

Scary Housing Market

Truly one of the scariest halloween decorations I've ever seen.

nuts

Okay, so it took me a few days to even get this footage. It seems the only thing this little demon squirrel fears is being captured on film. As you can see from video each time I turn the camera on he hightails it out sight.

This same squirrel comes to the window of my office to torment me at least 30 times a day...he shakes his tail at me and no matter how much I hiss or swing my arms at him he just sits there with a "f-you" look on his little rodent face.

I even hit him with a garbanzo bean from my salad (right in the stomach!) and he didn't even flinch!!!

I am starting to wonder if one of my exes has died and been reincarnated into this animal...



I've decided to name him Sarah Palin and believe he could only annoy me more if he starts squeaking to me about "mavericks" and "hockey moms".

debatin(g)

Okay so we can all admit that Sarah Palin did not fall on her face the way we expected her too. Although I did throw up in my mouth each and every single time she winked, pronounced words ending in "ing" without the "g" and any of the other cutesy bull that flowed from her mouth..."joe sixpack" and a "shout-out"...really?

I also think it is fair to say she had a pretty low bar set for her in the first place.

I am so proud of Joe Biden...I think he did an amazing job of staying on topic and sticking to the plan of going after John McCain. CNN & all the respectable news networks are claiming he won the debate hands down.

I always like to see how the right perceives things so I went to Fox New this morning and here is what the other side is saying...other than the first guy she didn't exactly receive a glowing report even from her own peeps.

Christopher Coffey
Republican Political Consultant

Governor Palin won the debate. Many expected her to fall flat, but she defeated expectations and in the process, beat Senator Biden.

Sarah Palin was sharp, earnest, informed and articulate. She spoke with authority on tax relief, education, energy, the environment, international affairs and health care. She jealously defended the top of the ticket, and best of all, she ceded absolutely no ground to Senator Biden.

Joe Biden was the smooth Beltway veteran — as expected. Though he showed command of the Democratic message, he talked about the middle class, not to the middle class with heartfelt understanding. Sarah Palin did the opposite. In fact, Biden seemed to become increasingly frustrated as the debate continued.

Attention McCain Campaign: If you want to win this one, we will need to see more of Governor Sarah Palin.
Ellen Ratner
Bureau Chief, Talk Radio News Service/FOX News Political Contributor
Gov. Palin was clearly prepared by sticking to her script and not answering direct questions. It will make her and Senator McCain’s base happy but I think that it will not move the middle. Most Americans are wise to avoiding answers. Senator Biden was smart, cool, very human and direct.

Call me an elitist but her use of folksy English drove me crazy. I think a potential Vice President should be a model with their speech.
James P. Pinkerton
Writer/Columnist, The American Conservative magazine/FOX News Political ContributorPalin hit energy hard, but probably not hard enough.

Biden was full of facts and figures, and hit the Bush administration
hard.

Interestingly, Palin mostly agreed with him.
Bill Kristol
Editor, The Weekly Standard/FOX News Political Contributor

It was match point against Sarah Palin and she won the set and kept the race alive.

Lanny Davis
Former White House Special Counsel/FOX News Political ContributorAgain we see two impressive performances — with Joe Biden clearly more substantive, more presence as a vice president ready to assume office, and as a sympathetic, gracious and likeable man. Sarah Palin achieved her goal — to rehabilitate the rough spots from her Katie Couric interview to the “Saturday Night Live” satire. She avoided a train wreck, and that means she had a good night.
Cal Thomas
Syndicated Columnist/FOX News Political Contributor
Governor Sarah Palin did not lose the debate and neither did she appear confused as she has in some recent interviews. She was mostly positive, upbeat and seemed happy (even privileged) to be on that stage. Joe Biden did what vice presidential candidates do: attack the presidential candidate of the other side.

While Biden attacked the judgment, policies and beliefs of John McCain, Governor Palin missed many target-rich opportunities, including her failure to attack Congressional Democrats, including Barack Obama, for their role in helping to create the mortgage crisis. Biden made several factual misstatements regarding McCain’s voting record and some of his positions, but don’t look for the mainstream media to correct them.

What the debate lacked was an overarching philosophical vision. Both candidates seemed committed to avoiding mistakes. Biden indulged in the usual class warfare and envy culture and mentioned Exxon-Mobile several times. There’s an answer to that, but Palin didn’t even try to defend the oil companies and what they spend in order to produce the fuel that drives our vehicles and heats many of our homes.

Palin could have defended success and the hard work that produces it, while Biden dwelt on the needy. She did use a phrase one almost never hears Democrats utter: personal responsibility.

I thought Biden demonstrated more authority, but that might be a function of his long time on the public stage, his height advantage and, yes, testosterone. But Palin, I thought, demonstrated an ability to speak in ways that probably connected more with middle America and these are the voters who ultimately will decide this election.
Kirsten Powers
Columnist/FOX News Political ContributorBiden did what he needed to do. He needed really to do no harm. He didn’t really take the bait too much.

i hope i don't have friends that don't vote...but if so...

Thanks to Cassi for this video.

Don't forget in Georgia the deadline to register is next Monday...OCTOBER 6TH. So no excuses, this is way too important.

ask and ye shall receive

Okay this is so not a joke. I checked the Obama website later this afternoon (I've been checking numerous times a day for weeks now) and it finally said my signs had shipped. However, it would not let me track the package...leading me to believe it had not yet been received by the shipping company.

2 minutes ago I go out the back door to let Monkey Sue out and low and behold there is a tube package laying on my back porch...my signs!

taking advantage of being on a corner
stuck one in the neighbor's yard for good measure

I'll be sure to send him an open letter on my blog asking for world peace and financial stability for all when he becomes President.

signs?

Dear Mr. Obama:

I hate to bother you at such a crucial time in your campaign but I was wondering if I would actually receive my yards signs before election day. It has been over a month since I ordered them (and rounded up my donation) yet they still haven't even shipped. Hate to complain but I was hoping to show my support and use these signs to influence voters in your favor but I am afraid time is running out. I even chose to order signs directly from your campaign so all the proceeds would go to you...even though I thought the ones on CafePress.com had cooler designs.

I suppose if not, I could use them as "victory signs" but I'm afraid at that point my neighbors may feel I'm just jumping on a bandwagon.

So if you get a second away from campaigning, debating, and trying to steer the country away from the next Great Depression I would greatly appreciate you looking into the matter.

Thanks in advance,
MAV

if only i were a hillbilly

this demon squirrel that runs up and down the fence outside my office window is driving me nuts...no pun intended.

2 days later

For the record this is why Monkey is not allowed to come to parties...2 days after partying with her aunties for the Georgia game and she is still down for the count...

debate time bitches!

Although I'll be out tonight during the debate I have every intention of watching it in its entirety first thing when I get home...I am so glad McCain decided he could handle more than one issue at a time and showed up in Mississippi this afternoon.

I have all the confidence in the world that McCain will come off looking just as confused and hypocritical as he has over the course of his campaign.

no surprise but still a good thing

okay so Clay Aiken wasn't fooling anyone except maybe some teenage girls and this bitter old bigot that i used to work with but, hey, we all know how those types like to live in a world of fantasy.

i had once told that bitter old bigot that i thought someone had to blind, deaf and have an i.q. score in the teens to believe he was straight. she of course was an anomaly with only 1 out of the 3.

that being said, the Gayken is out and although i'm not in the least bit surprised about his sexuality i am taken aback by his choice to come out on the cover of people magazine. his reason to finally come on out of the closet...his son.

he said he didn't want to raise his child to believe that lying and hiding things were okay and i have to say that when i read this it really warmed my heart.

i was very lucky in the facts that i didn't care what my family thought and that most of my friends were already gay. this made my coming out really fairly easy. this unfortunately made me very judgemental about those who still lived in the closet. what was the big deal? come on out you big babies!!

fortunately, with age i was able to shed some of my ignorant views and i try to withhold any judgement for those who choose to be closeted.

it is not a life i can understand but i'm sure to make that choice you must have some pretty compelling reasons. my heart goes out to you because i can't imagine a worse life lived than one that is not your own.

so good for you Clay...and even better for your son. i still hate your music but my respect for your person has risen significantly.

the incomparable rat ashley

rat is the first one on the left...i'm thinking more "bulldog"...but i'm sure he scored this incredible nickname in his youth and god, how i wish i knew why.

thanks to C for forwarding this photo to the wife. i am thrilled to have a face for that name!

i'd also like to state for the record that i am sure rat is a lovely person and it seems he is an involved and caring citizen in his community. i mean no disrespect to his character...only that ri-donk-u-lous name.

only in the south...i hope

i am so ticked that i missed the opportunity to take a photo of an election sign we saw in bumble south georgia...as soon as i fished the camera out of the backseat we had crossed into alabama and surprisingly enough they had nothing to compare.

the sign was for a person running for the local school board...what is so funny about that? well you know how some people who go by nicknames will put it in quotations on their signs? i suppose this is so joe blow voter won't get confused by their christian name. i've seen quite a few signs with "bubba" in it over the years but this one took it to a whole new level...

RONNIE "RAT" ASHLEY

i googled him but found nothing...sad, sad, sad...i'd really like to know more about this guy. and i'd pay money to see a picture.

public apology

i am officially apologizing to Pablo for arguing with him about SNL no longer being funny...

a breath of salty air

just got back from a week at the beach. leaving was weird because we knew we wouldn't be visiting the family condo again until 2011...at the earliest.

of course while pointing this out to the wife I also said i doubted either of us would be dreaming of pc beach while traveling the world. but there are a few things i will miss...

~ the ease of vacationing there...nothing to do and nothing to see
~ she-crab soup at captain anderson's which was as divine as always last night
~ white sand beaches (the gulf has ruined me from appreciating any other color sand)
~ the steamed tiny little crab claws and raw oysters at billy's
~ the great people watching on the beach (i spy a mullet with my little eye)
~ being able to read at least 3 books in one week
~ totally avoiding all "real world events"...i only watched cnn once and only for about 15 minutes

it was a nice break and as we are foregoing our normal christmas trip this year, it will be the last extended one we get until we leave in 4 months.

on a non-political front

so i was watching jon & kate plus 8 last night...which by the way, if you are not watching you should be...anyway last night's episode had them camping in their backyard. this is about as close as i came to primitive camping as a child. my cousins had a camper and i was a bit of a princess.

in recent years i've really come to appreciate camping and now i am totally itching to go. i want to get out of the city and roast some freaking marshmallows. maybe even do a little fishing...get back to my country-girl roots...or is that my lesbian roots?

whatever it may be i'm desperately searching for a weekend this fall when the weather will have turned cool but not too cold (cause i'm kinda still a princess) there isn't a football game and at least a couple of our friends can come.

so email/call me if you're interested.

i know hody is already dialing my number to rsvp...

from the mouth of celebs

I think Matt's got a pretty good point here...Palin becoming president would be like a really bad Disney movie.



But I have to say I like the way Pam just says what we're all really thinking...

ms. streisand

i know i'm in the minority in my generation when it comes to loving Babs but i love this quote from her because it is what i've been screaming since he made that ridiculous choice, only said better.

“I believe John McCain chose Gov. Palin because he truly believes that women who supported Hillary — an experienced, brilliant, life-long public servant — would vote for him because his Vice President has two x chromosomes. McCain’s selection of Governor Palin is a transparent and irresponsible decision all in the name of trying to win this election. John McCain has served this country. No one in this election is denying him that. But his selection of Governor Palin has demonstrated that he is willing to put his desperation to win this election above the welfare of the American people."

in happier news

we were honored to have attended the wedding our dear friends and neighbors this weekend. it was a beautiful union of two beautiful people. we couldn't be happier for them!

pray away the gay

This just makes me physically ill.

I don't know why I continue reading articles about this woman, I already know enough to give me nightmares.

I guess it is that old adage...keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

i heart jon stewart

note: i just realized that cassi also has this on her blog...so i'm giving her credit for posting it first. send her your HOPE pictures!!

be an educated voter

If you haven't read the email from Anne Kilkenny, you should.

hmmm

Heard an interesting view point today so thought I would share.

A military wife spoke about how every single military family she knew (she currently lives on a base so I'm assuming that is a pretty large number) found Palin to be a laughable choice for McCain.

Their reason...if he dies she becomes their Commander in Chief. Her husband is a Lieutenant and said there was no way a soldier would be comfortable with someone with this little experience and lack of global knowledge being next in line behind a 72 year old. I'm sure her being a woman doesn't help her much either.

This wife went on to say that along with herself many of these families considered themselves "independent" voters and that this choice alone has solidified their choice for Obama.

I have a lot of military in my family, they are all extremely conservative and they always vote Republican. I assumed the majority of troops would vote McCain but it looks as if this may no longer be true.

baa

I figured out that I could just listen to CNN on my computer while I work today. I have to say this is much more entertaining than listening to my pitiful selection of itunes and less annoying than Dave FM online which constantly goes in and out. It is, however, probably not good for my blood pressure.

I'm so infuriated with all these GOP supporters skirting around the real issues and blabbing on and on about how Palin chose to have a down syndrome baby and supports her teenage daughter's choice to have a baby.

I'm sorry but if this was Hillary Clinton or any other DNC woman the evangelicals would be praying for her lost soul. I can hear them now just going on and on about how awful it is that she chose her career over staying at home with not only 5 children but one with special needs!! That poor child! What a horrible mother!! Can you imagine how they would spin the teenage daughter's pregnancy..."see what sex education will get you, premarital sex and a shotgun wedding!!".

Listen, I could care less that her daughter is preggers. Good for her for having a situation that allows her to not only have her baby but to have enough support to care for it. And I obviously have no issue with Palin's choice to keep her child even after knowing about the DS. Again, good for her that she has the means and support to care for a special needs child.

What I do care about is the fact that this woman has NO EXPERIENCE and is truly a 72 year old's heartbeat away from the Presidency should the GOP take the Presidency. I also care about her uber-conservative views, her pro-gun rhetoric, her belief that rape and incest victims should be forced to carry a baby to term and her devout belief that my marriage is an abomination.

As I get older I have found that in general people are not as bright as I'd thought or hoped them to be. Sorry but you know its true and if the last two presidential elections didn't prove it I don't know what will. They just seem to follow blindly without realizing where they are being led.

At this point I am just praying that we can get enough sheep back into our fold to lead this nation out of disaster.

I realize that the majority of my friends are Democrats and that I'm really just preaching to the choir but to know me is to listen to me rant...if you don't like it I'd suggest skipping the next 60 or so days on the blog.

7 more days

The wife found out today that their annual conference had to be pushed forward a week due to a scheduling issue with the international team. New departure date is January 24th.

After being delayed 8 months I'm not really phased by another 7 days but I am ticked that I had to scratch out and rewrite the weekly countdown in my calendar.

I hate a messy calendar.

lessons

things i learned this last weekend of summer:

1. it feels freaking awesome to start a football season ranked as #1 in the nation! as the wife pointed out...all we have to worry about is ourselves. although that won't keep her from watching every other college game this season.

2. the GOP is officially retarded. i mean sure if i was going to pick someone with one foot in the grave i'd chose the most inexperienced and least intelligent person i could find as their back-up. i guess they thought america had a thing for that sort since they voted the reigning king of all morons into office twice.

3. adding cream cheese and condensed milk does make an amazing banana pudding and Paula Deen is still a genius.

4. i am not a 22 year old anymore and drinking like one will only lead to near death nausea and pain the next day...and yes i actually needed that lesson repeated twice this weekend before it really sank in.

5. a slider bar with gourmet toppings is an excellent idea and i'm totally stealing it from ms. payne for my next football party.

6. keeping your dog from taking their usual 47 naps per day will allow you up to 3 days of total peace afterwards.

7. don't start talking politics with practical strangers at their house when you've had a few gallons of wine/champagne and are in the midst of the most hormonal time of the month because the chances of you crying in front of them and making a total arse of yourself is apparently fairly high.

8. zeke-man is still, by far, the cutest baby on earth.



So bring on the fall, i'm more than ready, and heck, even a little wiser.

a true pioneer

I saw that Del Martin had passed away yesterday. Her story and courageous life inspired me not only as a lesbian but as a person who wholeheartedly believes that you should always stand up for those being held down.

I am so very thankful for the advocacy work she did and so very happy that she could have her legally recognized wife of 55 years by her side in the end.

From NBC in San Francisco:

"Del Martin slipped away from us just moments ago but her spirit and legacy will never be extinguished within the LGBT community. Del and her loving, longtime partner, Phyllis Lyon, were harbingers for change and activism long before lesbian issues became au courant and socially acceptable. All people and movements in search of true liberation owe an immeasurable debt to Del Martin who, along with other early brave souls, was determined to speak out and change the world to better the plight and lives of those whose voices are not heard. "

enough is enough

Okay, so it is no secret that I support Hillary Clinton, that I voted for her in the primary or that I was praying up until that 3am text that Obama would choose her as his running mate. It is also not a secret that I had a hard time getting fired up about Obama.

I have a huge issue with loyalty. It can be my best and worst trait sometimes rolled into one. I wholeheartedly admit to the fact that I am not much of a "forget and forgive" kind of gal...when I believe in someone and support them, whether it be family, friend or politician, I do so forever. Or until they do something horrible enough for me to see they weren't really the person I thought them to be. But that is a whole different can of worms.

That being said, enough is enough. Hillary is out, she's not going to be on the ticket, top or bottom. Our hope now lies with Obama and Biden. Period.

I mean, I love her too but it is time to get on board here. These so called "Democrats for Hillary" and their threats to vote republican are almost more than I can handle.

This party needs us to unite for the greater good...our country needs us to unite. We need someone to begin the daunting task of backing us out of this seemingly bottomless hole that the Bush administration has put us in.

Obviously, that someone is not John McCain. It amazes me to no end that anyone in this country could look back 8 years ago and feel that things are better now. I just don't get it.

But what I don't get even more is people like this woman in the video who says she supports Hillary all while spewing bigotry as her reason for not supporting Obama. WTF? Can someone like this really share Hillary's views?

I have my fingers crossed that Hill does a bang up job at the convention tonight. I hope she gets through to these people and makes them understand what is really at stake here.

Well maybe not this women, she just needs to go back to her cave and stay out of the voting booth.

separated at birth

Bella Karolyi and the Talking Stain







I believe they are both talking about the important women gymnasts of Olympic past...but who the hell can really tell?

say what?

Just a few snippets from a night spent with two of the funniest people on earth...

An earlier conversation they had at lunch...
L: "I've got more common sense than you."
Ash: "No you don't!"
L: "Well I've got more street smarts."
Ash: "No way! I know how to get anywhere in Atlanta, even without a map."


As our dog, Gert, sniffs a sugar caddy from No Mas Cantina that mysteriously showed up in L's purse...

Ash: "Look at her she smells food on it."
L: "No she doesn't!! She smells burritos!"
Ash: "A burrito is food."
L: "Shut up!"


At dinner:
Ash: "I was the s*#t at the skating ring when I was young."
Me: "Oh yeah? You got a lot of ladies at the skating rink?"
Ash: "You say that too?"
Me: "What? Skating rink?"
Ash: "Yeah, why do you say rink?"
Me: "Because that is what it is called."

I'd love to share the really funny ones but I'd have to change my blog to "adult content".

They say to know some people is to love them. In this case to know them is to love them as well as to almost pee in your pants laughing every single time you're around them.

The good, the bad and the in-between

Friday's doctor visit went okay, not great and not horrible. No change in the osteoporosis but I did get cleared for wearing my tennis shoe. I can only wear it for 2 hours a day at first and get to gradually get myself back into it full time within a month.

Travel Well Center...

Good- The Wife did not pass out as they had her lie down while they held her feet in the air while they did the shots.

Bad- No funny stories

Almost Forgot...

Tomorrow is also "PGDLWPOA" Day (Please God Don't Let the Wife Pass Out Again).

The second round of our immunization shots are tomorrow. So say a prayer for her and the poor nurses at Emory Travel Well Clinic that she takes these standing up...and continues to stand up afterward as well.

Tomorrow is D Day

Okay, not so much "D" Day as it is more like "PGLMGTFBO" Day. Obviously this stands for Please God Let Me Get This Freakin' Boot Off.

I'm a bit nervous because my foot has been bothering me a little this week. Probably because after my 3 month hiatus I finally went back to the gym on Monday. I rode the bike and although I wasn't putting any real pressure on it I'm sure my foot was in a little shock to be moving so much. Along with the rest of my body.

Even though I will still wear the boot out in public, it thrills me more than you know to think I could actually reach this next step in healing and rehabing this ridiculous foot.



Not to mention it is not the most comfortable foot wear...so say a prayer for me tomorrow at 10am.

letter to the ioc

Dear IOC,
I heard this is the last year for baseball and softball in the summer Olympics. I don't care enough to research why it is you deem these sports un-Olympic but did have another suggestion for the chopping block - synchronized diving.

Don't get me wrong, the divers are amazing and are some of my favorite summer athletes to watch but seriously what is so sporty about two people doing the same dive at the same time? I don't see the gymnast doing "synchro vaults" or side by side on a balance beam.

I have spent 3 nights watching both the women's and men's events and although I don't consider myself an expert, I do feel you've got a bunch of bull on your hands.

I watched men land almost completely on their backs and receive a 9.5 on execution, seemingly just because they were the favorites to win. I watched women totally out of synch get higher scores than others because according to the announcer "they looked pretty".

If you don't feel you can get rid of the sport at least consider talking to NBC about their announcer who told viewers the reason the swimmers got in the showers after dives was to "have fun".

I'd also keep an eye out for a new Russian judge...maybe look for one that judges the actual divers and not how successful the communist party is in their country.

Thanks in advance for your prompt attention to these matters. I hope in 4 years I won't be forced to drive my wife crazy with my commentary, or what she likes to call my "complete lack of knowledge of the sport".

Tootles,
MAV

Another one bites the dust

Welcome Ms. JC to your 30's...my advise, try not to break anything.





We love you!

can anyone keep it in their pants these days?

I am beyond angry at the news of John Edwards' affair. I'm not angry because of the affair itself because, lets face it, the majority of married men and women have extra marital affairs. I'm not saying it doesn't disappoint me. I respected him and I do think it says a great deal to his lack of good and moral character, traits he assured everyone of during his campaign.

That said, it isn't my marriage and they have to deal with it as a family. In the end it comes down to the simple fact that we all make mistakes.

However, to have a scandalous affair, attempt to cover it up and then to consciously make the decision to run for Presidency anyway is not a mistake. It is an act of treason to the Democratic Party and a slap in the face to everyone who supported him. Should he have gotten the nod our hopes of returning to the White House would have been over.

Period.

I could go on and on about how incredibly incensed I am at this man for bringing on this negative light just weeks before the DNC Convention and what a coward I think he is for giving his statement during the opening night of the Olympics...

But, I guess there really is only one thing to say anyway...thank you Obama and Hillary for keeping this egomaniac in 3rd place.

you can't win them all

To preface, I love my Grandmother more than life. She was and is for all practical purposes my mother and I truly believe my soul mate. It really scares the me sometimes when I think about how much we are alike. Although I'm sure it scares the Wife even more.

Given that she turns 75 this year and was raised in rural north Georgia by poor Scotch-Irish dirt farmers she is incredibly progressive in her thinking.

She is completely supportive of me being a lesbian and finds great pleasure in showing off pictures from our wedding to all the old ladies at her beauty parlor. Which I think she does out of fierce pride and an even fiercer desire to see if anyone disagrees with her so she can argue with them. Which according to her she does quite often.

My grandma is a champion of gay rights in a town that needs one in the worst way. It brings me more joy than you can imagine to think of her raising hell with the other blue-hairs about gay marriage equality.

That being said she is still a 75 year old woman raised by poor Scotch-Irish farmers in rural north Georgia...and sometimes there is no escaping it.

On the phone the other day she begins spouting off letters to me, as she does every single time we talk, asking me how I would pronounce this word. Normally it is the name of her new prescription but this day it was her doctor.

Grams: "V-I-L-L-A-N-U-E-V-A"

Me: (after grabbing a pen) "Oh it's Villanueva, is your doctor Hispanic?"

Grams: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (said with total disgust)

Me: "Uh Grandma, I'm Hispanic"

Grams: "Well, I just mean he's not Mexican"

Me: "Well, he could be Mexican."

Grams: "No, no, no, he is too good looking."


I'm guessing my Grandmother won't be giving the ladies at Birdie's Beauty Parlor a lecture on immigration rights anytime soon.

this is "my space"

Last night Ang told me I had to go back on myspace before we leave. I actually re-registered just a couple weeks ago with the intention of getting back on there so I could direct people to the blog and have another way of keeping up with peeps while we're gone.

But once I got on there and started thinking about finding a template for the page, uploading backgrounds, adding music and quizzes and all the other crap that blankets "myspace" pages I just wanted to throw up. As I hadn't eaten anything that day I decided just to exit myspace.

I just can't do it again.

I did, however, join facebook today which seems way more my speed.

So when we leave you'll have one more option to have a cyber-relationship with us...just not through myspace.

31 days

August is, by far, my least favorite month. Each year when it rolls around I find myself desperately tired of summer and ready for fall. Cooler weather, college football, chili, pumpkins, cabin trips, leaves changing, the whole bit.

But like a slap in the face, I am reminded each time I venture outdoors that August is really the quintessential "Summer Month" and hotter than Hades. I spend these miserable 31 days dreaming of September and the beginning of my favorite time of year.

One of the promises I made myself when we got delayed to January was to not wish away this year. I swore to myself that I was going to do my best to really enjoy this last year in Atlanta. Even the craptastic month of August.

This August may end up not being that difficult anyway. Currently on the calendar we have 1 wedding, 5 birthdays including a big "30th" celebration, 1 totally awesome 80's wedding shower, another wedding shower, 1 bachelorette party and the first game of what we hope to be an amazing UGA football season.

I'm thinking September 1st is going to be here before we know it and when it is we'll only have 4 1/2 months before we leave, which is insane.

on the foot front

Good news today, got my MRI results and everything came back okay. Meaning my foot is broken but the doc said it is healing...just taking forever.

Hopefully I'll be out of this stupid boot in 2 weeks and into my sneakers. I pray I'll be back in my beloved heels by September for the neighbor's wedding. I already have to attend a wedding this weekend in the boot which really kills me. However, I did a little test today and found I can wear a short heel on my left foot. I actually hobble less than when wearing flats.

I'm also optimistic (shocking I know) that some of this osteoporosis will have reversed by the time I go back to the doctor. I've been quite the errand runner since last Friday so I'm hoping my body is coming to it's senses and is sending some calcium down there.

I'm far more than ready to be healthy again.

In other related "foot news", I found out that I actually bought this bone stimulator. Which I think is insane but apparently the FDA will not allow this equipment to be prescribed to anyone else.

God forbid, if anybody breaks a bone or knows someone who does let me know. It truly speeds up healing by like 30%, but your insurance won't sign off on it until your fracture is "non-union" and by then you're half crazy, like me. Even then they will only cover a portion of the cost. I only had to pay 15% and it was close to $400!

I asked if I could donate it back so it could be used for someone without insurance or someone who couldn't afford it but they said if I sent it back they would just destroy it. How ridiculous! But, I suppose this is typical of our messed up medical system.

bear hug

I am completely addicted to the Travel Channel right now. As we have no idea what countries we'll be visiting or when, I watch pretty much every show that deals with foreign countries. I adore Anthony Bourdain, enjoy Andrew Zimmer and tolerate Samantha Brown. She's kinda the Rachel Ray of the Travel Channel. A little too freaking perky for my taste. However, she gives a lot of great hotel/travel tips and all from a woman's perspective. Not to mention she has like 129 different travel shows so it is hard to avoid her.

With the Olympics on the horizon TC is doing a week of China shows. So of course Samantha Brown has a new show "Passport to China". I watched her Beijing episode on Monday night. It was pretty interesting. But what really got me was the commercial for an upcoming show that shows her hugging a panda. Let me correct myself, a baby panda.

Okay so lets lay out the facts:

1. Panda bears are cute.
2. Baby panda bears are disgustingly cute.

There are big operations in China and it is highly likely that we'll go there at least once, so after seeing Samantha Brown cuddle this panda like a stuffed toy I was thrilled.

Me: "Oh my God Baby! I just saw Samantha Brown hug a panda!!! I am so going to do that when we go to China!!

Wife: "Uh, no you're not. Remember due to the shortage we can't get the rabies vaccines right now so you're not hugging a panda. It will bite you."

Me: "Are you kidding me?"

Wife: "No"

Me: "Honey I think I'd have bigger things to worry about if a bear bites me, like my missing limb. Not to mention you don't even know if they carry rabies."

Wife: "Well okay, you can research it, but remember you can't pet any monkeys."

Me: "Awesome!!"

So here it is in black and white. If we go to China no monkey petting allowed, but I'm cleared for hugging a baby panda! Which I am seriously more excited about than seeing the Great Wall. Seriously...

Getting older rocks!

I make it no secret that I hate getting older. I begged the Wife years ago to let me repeat my 27th year. "Nobody will notice, once I get to 29 I'm screwed."

The Wife's standing comment to my moans of aging is "It's better than the alternative". It isn't that I don't love my life. Sometimes I find myself in disbelief of how great my life really is...but the grey hairs and wrinkles I could live without.

I could also live, quite nicely actually, without this seemingly permanent broken foot. I've been using my bone stimulator for 2 1/2 weeks now and no change in pain or swelling.

I went to a new doctor yesterday and on top of being told the obvious "it's still broken" I was also told that I now have osteoporosis in my foot. This apparently happened because my body told itself "hey we're not using those bones so don't waste sending calcium down there". This is the same body that told itself "hey, we've been working on that break for a while now, lets just let it go".

I am starting to believe my body is an idiot.

So, I'm off to have an MRI Monday morning to see if there is more than one fracture or if it is something else all together. The doctor didn't tell me what that something else could be. I think he felt he had upset me enough with his being "very concerned" about the osteoporosis. I'm sure he knew if he said anything more the tears that were welling up in my eyes would have most certainly begun to fall.

He's my 3rd doctor and I really feel pretty good about him. He seems experienced, aggressive but rational and to be honest the first one who really seems to give a damn about helping me.

3 good things that came out of the visit:

1. 1st priority now is taking care of this osteoporosis and to do so I have to start bearing weight on this foot. Which means I am supposed to start walking around like a normal human again. Well, a normal human with an air cast on.

2. The doc said he is fairly confident that this will all be resolved and I should be 100% by January 17th.

3. Doc hopes (as long as MRI doesn't show anything funky) to get me out of this air cast in 3 weeks and into a tennis shoe.

Granted, never did I think I'd be happy to be sporting a tennis shoe...but I'm older now and with all the crap that come with that comes some good things, like perspective.